Monday, October 26, 2009

Halloween

I was at the Piedmont Botanical Garden's Scarecrow in the Garden event yesterday with my family. And I ventured further to view the new exhibit at the Bremen Museum afterwards, honoring the greatly disadvantaged but, oh so creative and resourceful children of the world who created toys from scraps.

I love spending time in the company of my granddaughter and her mom and my significant other and I was reminded that we don't have extended family close- by much anymore. I am very lucky to have children and grandchildren right around the corner.We can learn and share and grow together but having family in close proximity has challenges too. While we benefit from the wonder of their youth and freshness and they, hopefully, benefit from our wisdom and experience. We all need to set boundaries.

I am reminded constantly that I must parent adults, instead of children now. And grandparenting is very different from parenting. I get to spoil and coddle and NOT make childrearing decisions. These are NOT my kids. The instinct is to instruct and teach and grandmas don't NEED to do that. They need to respect and support the next generation's choices for how these kids are raised by the children that we did the BEST we could for.

So I will continue to try my best to learn that it isn't my role to by anything other than a grandparent. Unconditional support and loving graditude for these marvels of my continuing DNA but NOT decision making concerning their paths or behaviors. Not a bad position to be in, just very, very different from being a parent.