Be Ready to Birth!: Between Mother's Day and Father's Day

Be Ready to Birth!: Between Mother's Day and Father's Day: I have been teaching Baby Basics courses for a long time. People naturally want to know how to diaper and swaddle and burp and bathe. Easy e...

Between Mother's Day and Father's Day

I have been teaching Baby Basics courses for a long time. People naturally want to know how to diaper and swaddle and burp and bathe. Easy enough and I am sure ( although I haven't checked ) anyone can find very detailed instructions on a variety of websites. Grandparents want to know how we "do" things these days because times bring change. Babies don't sleep on their tummies anymore. So now, I have begun informing grandparents, in special classes designed just for them,  how to get current on the latest in childcare, in the twenty-first century.

I used to be amazed that there were actually folks out there who didn't know. Now, I have changed my tune. It's wonderful that dads and grandpas want to get it right. Taking care of an infant was almost exclusively "woman's work" just a generation ago. And most of us learned from our moms. In fact, dads were known to consider caring for their kids ( on those rare occasions ) as babysitting. Well, not anymore!

In this decade alone, the numbers and demographics of stay-at-home parents has changed dramatically. It used to be that a dad in the park or carpool line was an aberration. I would congratulate a dad in the grocery store for doing such a great job with his baby. No more. I see just as many dads and almost as many grandparents caring for young children.

In the sixties we fought for gender equality. But it was mighty difficult to teach little boys how to parent when it was done by mom, and not dad. Now the lines have blurred between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Hallmark may have to design cards for Parenting Day. In fact, everyday should be recognized as a day that celebrates parenting as a unisex activity.

Once we get unisex parenting down, we can move on to community parenting day and then hopefully, realizing that it indeed takes a village, we will understand that in every country on the planet parenting is a responsibility that is our best insurance plan for the future. Only by doing, will we truly appreciate what a monumental job taking care of children 24/7 for eighteen or so years really is. And how vital it is that everyone participate in the care and raising of the next generation. "Teach your children well" is done by doing not telling. Happy Parenting Days......

Be Ready to Birth!: That First Developmental Task

Be Ready to Birth!: That First Developmental Task: I tell my patients to go to sleep after they receive an epidural. For those of you who do not want medication, resting between contractions ...

That First Developmental Task

I tell my patients to go to sleep after they receive an epidural. For those of you who do not want medication, resting between contractions is very important. Why does this always come up in my sessions? Because labor is very hard work ( hence the name ) and you must reserve stores of energy for the rest of the labor and pushing, for sure. Obvious. It does no good to wait for the next contraction, anticipating the worst. So rest, or if you are able, sleep. Fearing what lies up the road is really a an exercise in a lot of wasted energy. No matter what we may be fearing.

Get ready for your baby's very important first developmental task. Your baby ( as all newborns since the beginning of time ) must be bright- eyed after birth, able to engage you and invested in convincing you to "keep" him. You will remember that animals abandon offspring that is flawed or weak or just plain funny looking.
So your precious baby is going to put on a show, right away, to not only insist that you "keep" him but also that you feed him!!

Just as your body was born to perform this miracle of procreation, your baby was born to survive. So take the few short hours after birth to remain in the labor and delivery and recovery room suite, just to allow that infant to show you his stuff. It's not the best time for other family members ( except siblings ) or friends to descend on the hospital and interrupt this special attachment time. I am all for calling everyone to visit after you have been moved, as a family, to the postpartum unit and then the party can begin. If you are exhausted, wait until after you have had a nap and ready to watch that swaddled kid passed like a football.

Remember to remind visitors that they should be fully inoculated for pertussis ( whooping cough ) and the flu. And to wash their hands or use the hand sanitizer found  outside the room or in the doorway. Dads, this is a good time to be present and aware of mom's energy level. If she is nodding off, it's permissible to ask for a shortened visit. Ask your visitors to stop at Costco to buy a pizza and a case of diapers, and to call before they come to visit you at home.

Be Ready to Birth!: The Case for Breastfeeding or Not

Be Ready to Birth!: The Case for Breastfeeding or Not: Those of you who know me and/or my blogs know that I believe you should feed your baby. I say that babies have thrived on breast milk for ...

The Case for Breastfeeding or Not

Those of you who know me and/or my blogs know that I believe you should feed your baby. I say that babies have thrived on breast milk for millenia and formula for at least since the end of World War II.  Babies had fed from breasts other than their mother's ( as in wet nurses ) and from plain old cow's milk or goat's milk or sugar water, if necessary. The pendulum swings back and forth depending on fashion and personal preference and sometimes a huge guilt factor. In order to be really successful at something like breast feeding, you have to be tenacious and sometimes courageous and often instructed. Even if you think you really need or want to breast feed, sometimes you can't. Women who have had breast reduction usually can't breast feed. And sometimes you have a sick baby in the NICU and two kids at home and it just isn't for you this time. This is an intensely personal decision. But you have no choice, one way or another, you must feed your baby.

Now breast feeding mother's are posing for covers on national magazines. Is there no other news? Isn't Greece on the verge of financial collapse? Isn't Syria an inch from all out civil war? Aren't there children starving and being abused and suffering with incurable diseases? Do you care how long someone decides to breast feed their baby? Do you need to hear the argument for why you should breast feed for three or seven or ten years? Or why not?

Human milk is a great thing for human babies. And according to a very informative article in the latest Discovery magazine, the componets of human milk may be important for preventing disease and enhancing performance. If we can isolate how milk does what it does for premature babies, we may be able to bring those principles and mechanisms of action to formulate milk- derived drugs that could benefit infants, children and especially adults who are ill or aged and need the microbiomes that human milk provides to starve out bad germs.

Amazing stuff. Human milk. But spare us the propaganda and the sales pitch. Spare us the judgements and random opinions, please. I repeat these sentiments every year or so, using different prose and spurred on by some media hype. I do believe that the campaigns to educate and promote breast feeding are a very good thing. But I also believe that choosing to use formula to nourish an infant is acceptable too. There are many factors at play in this very personal decision. But, I am sure that you must feed your baby.

Be Ready to Birth!: I Can't Say this Any Better: Each Mom Counts

Be Ready to Birth!: I Can't Say this Any Better: Each Mom Counts: I am taking the liberty of borrowing an article that was sent to me circuitously by Christy Turlington. If you have gotten it from some othe...